Itty Bitty Review: Bagged by the Groceries!

This is the year of the DNF and, since I'm failing pretty badly at that already, it will also be the year of the lazy ass review and the exclamation mark! As threatened in this post, you'll likely be seeing a few reviews that are completely thoughtless and probably shorter than their blurbs as I attempt to get off the computer and work my way through more books before the tbr topples and takes out one of my family members. 

Bagged by the Groceries! by Fannie Tucker
Monsterporn! 45 Whole Pages!
Amazon ♦ Goodreads
When Ashley Dubois tossed the big fat cucumber in her shopping cart, she intended to put it in a salad, but the grocery monster had another place in mind! 

Living a pampered life in a high-end New Orleans condo, Ashley Dubois has little to complain about. But when a chance encounter with a wild-eyed homeless woman leaves her haunted by a voodoo curse, the trophy wife will face a voodoo demigod that will manifest himself in Ashley's bags of produce, meat, and bread as a creature out of her strangest nightmares.

Then the grocery monster will make her steamiest dreams come true. And we all know what's going to happen to that cucumber.

This 5,700-word short story contains strange and explicit content.

This is actually a  decently written monster-porn featuring . . . groceries! Yes, groceries! But not your average, everyday cucumber. These groceries have been hexed by an angry woman and turned into a monster-man. There really is no need for a review of this, is there?

“What do you want from me?”Ashley’s voice sounded small and timid. The creature’s voice rumbled like fresh-tilled earth, as lush as rain-soaked melon vines. “To plant my seed. Rise, woman. Give me what is mine.”

LOL, that's all I'm giving you. You'll either want to read this or you won't.


  1. This is hilarious and can I join the year of exclamation mark? I find I use them WAY too much when making comments! (see)

  2. LOL I think the review is more fun than the book will be!

  3. Monster porn...the reviews are the best part. I sometimes just read the title out loud to my husband for a good laugh.

  4. ::snort:: It's amazing what they come up for with the monster porn. I love it :)


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