Erotica Review: Lovely Little Liar by Patty Devlin
DNF |
I had to DNF this little audio two hours in because my poor, abused and confused ears could not take another second of this narrator’s voice. This has to be, hands down, one of the most painful narrations I have ever had the displeasure of listening to. All of the characters, even the menfolk, sound like perky twelve year old girls. The narrator doesn’t make even the slightest attempt at altering the voices so the reader knows who is speaking. The cadence is also all wrong. She puts emphasis on the wrong words and stops and starts in the strangest of places.
But that's not all. I might’ve been able to continue if the story weren’t all . . .
Maybe it’s just me. Feel free to judge for yourownself. Here's the plot so far as I know it. The heroine is Charlie and she is 26 years old. She has her own home, has overcome a battle with anorexia and now has a very dependable job as an urgent care nurse and fill-in ER nurse. I mean, you need to have your wits about you to keep that kind of job, right? I know for certain I couldn’t do it. Anyway, she has an older brother, by 10 years or so, who oversees every aspect of her life. This includes disciplining her for any perceived misbehavior. With his hand. On her bum. This is not incestuous or for titillation on his end but purely disciplinary (honestly I’m not 100% certain about that because it's just plain weird to me) and though she fears it, she allows it. Did you miss the bit where I mentioned she is 26, has a job and her own home, fears the spanking and yet she allows it?! What the hey?
So, now she’s met a police officer who she has the hots for and he’s a not-in-a-sexual-way bum smacker too. Now what are the odds of having that kind of luck, eh? If I were her, I’d be playing the lottery. She’s also a “lovely” little liar and she isn’t very good at it, thus resulting in the constant need for spankings on her “swells”. She’s also the type of gal who “wants a prince to take care of her”.
Ugh, I tried people but I just can't with this one.
Me and my swells are so done.
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