How to Be Eaten by Maria Adelmann | Horror Fiction Review
If you enjoy modern day retellings of fairytales you might want to check this one out.
This is a fiendishly weird book that takes several known fairytales and puts a modern spin on them. It adds in a story that twists up “The Bachelor” as a bonus, weirdly enough. That inclusion felt strange but it makes a sort of sense because all of these women become famous for their very public run-ins/relationships/downfalls with men and the public's perception of them turns out to be not at all the full story, of course.
The women, all dealing with various trauma, answer an email which leads them to group therapy sessions where they share their stories. Each story seems stranger than the last or at least as strange as each other with the exception of “The Bachelor” one. That one didn’t really work for me and Ashlee (ignore my spelling if it’s wrong as I listened to the audio) got on my last nerve every time she opened her mouth. I’ve never watched “The Bachelor” but this makes it all sound like a total nightmare which I assumed it was anyway, lol. But the rest were creative, creepy and darkly mysterious and hooked me in right away. There’s some VERY dark humor here too if you have a twisted sense of humor which I always appreciate. It’s not at all the “wickedly funny” stuff that the blurb promises though so don’t go in thinking this is a comedy or you might be in for a real fright by some of this stuff. I don’t know why blurbs say things like that when it isn’t really true.
Anyhow . . .
My favorite was Raina’s story. So horrific, tragic and sad. I LOVED it. Bernice’s story was my second favorite. Was that her name? It doesn’t feel right but I didn’t take notes so I guess her name is going to be Bernice for now because I'm too lazy to look things up. Her romance with a blue-bearded tech bro was the one that truly made me laugh while giving me a case of the creeps that, days later, I still can’t shake. It was horrific and that dude was an idiot. Who gives a girl a key and then expects her not to use it? What a creep and what an easy trap, ffs, how do these tech bros make so much $ when they all seem to have so little common sense?
The final reveal tied it all together somewhat though it was weird but again it sort of fits with the theme of $$$ hungry people and misogynistic men trying to cash in on the pain and trauma they cause so I won’t be complaining about it.
This is a recommendation from me. I enjoyed it more than Angela Carter’s The Bloody Chamber which, I know, I know, is a classic but it also let me down because my expectations were too high and I read it far too late in life. Had I read it in my early 20’s I may have sung its praises like most folks. But I’m grumpy now and it felt dated to me. I never had that feeling with this book so maybe go read this one if you feel the same.
Final Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Publisher Plot Synopsis
This darkly funny and provocative novel reimagines classic fairy tale characters as modern women in a support group for trauma.
In present-day New York City, five women meet in a basement support group to process their traumas. Bernice grapples with the fallout of dating a psychopathic, blue-bearded billionaire. Ruby, once devoured by a wolf, now wears him as a coat. Gretel questions her memory of being held captive in a house made of candy. Ashlee, the winner of a Bachelor-esque dating show, wonders if she really got her promised fairy tale ending. And Raina's love story will shock them all.
Though the women start out wary of one another, judging each other’s stories, gradually they begin to realize that they may have more in common than they supposed . . . What really brought them here? What secrets will they reveal? And is it too late for them to rescue each other?
Dark, edgy, and wickedly funny, this debut for readers of Carmen Maria Machado, Kristen Arnett, and Kelly Link takes our coziest, most beloved childhood stories, exposes them as anti-feminist nightmares, and transforms them into a new kind of myth for grown-up women.
I do have a twisted sense of humor so maybe I'd like this. It does sound interesting.
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