Horror Review: Fidget Spinners Destroyed My Family by George Billions
It's ugly, it's tragic and you might find it funny if you're a weirdo like me.
My Thoughts
4 ½ Stars
I’m not sure what that cover is about but that cannibalistic kiddo is not in the book. Sorry, folks. It’s eye catching though, right?
What this book is really about is a family that is on the brink of imploding and we get to witness it in all its glorious ugliness. Yay! From the outside, Karen and Kevin and their two children appear to have a perfectly beautiful upper class life but if you get to snooping and look a little closer you’ll see things aren’t so sickeningly picture perfect. Ah, my favorite kind of story. I love books like this. If you do to, you’ll want to check this one out.
It’s darkly comical, as the best of these types of stories tend to be. Kevin, who is a big kid himself, decides to give the kids (and himself, of course) fidget spinners one Christmas and Karen sees it as the beginning of the end. Of everything. She’s a bit of a dramatic soul. She blames all of her woes on the fidget thingies and refuses to face her true reality. This book is told from Karen’s mostly sloshed POV and she’s a truly terrible person on the inside. Horribly, hysterically, terrible. Her thoughts are often ridiculously bitchy, snooty and mean as well as slightly crazed and I have to admit I loved it there in her head. Granted, no one would probably want to spend too much time there because it would wear on you but this book is only 96 pages. That’s the perfect length of time to spend with someone like Karen, if you ask me.
“I screamed. I tried to help. I tried to save him. Believe me when I tell you, I really tried.”
Lol, I don’t believe a thing this woman tries to tell me but it’s fun listening to her. Please be warned an unforgivable thing happens to an animal. I didn’t like that part at all but that’s the risk you take with books like these.
If you’re in the mood for something blackly humorous grab yourself a glass of Karen’s favorite wine (that would be any and all of them) and settle in for a dark little gem with this novella.
I received an ARC of this story from the author. Thanks, it was a lot of fun!
George Billions is a writer whose work litters the Internet under various pseudonyms. He's written everything from fake product reviews to unqualified fitness advice, steamy romance novels to straight-up keyword spam. Once he had a gig banging out thousands of short biographies of adult entertainers. These days he's trying to put out the kind of stuff he enjoys reading and writing.
See what George Billions is up to at his website.
Fidget Spinners Destroyed My Family by George Billions
Horror Novella
Released July 2017
Amazon ♦ Goodreads
Horror Novella
Released July 2017
Amazon ♦ Goodreads
Karen and Kevin have a happy home, with two loving kids and a cat. It’s an idyllic setting, full of laughter and hope, until one Christmas when Kevin gives fidget spinners to each member of the family. He has no idea what destructive consequences this will have.
Getting kicked out of church is just the beginning. Within a year their daughter is in foster care, their son is in jail, and the cat is missing. An even more terrible fate is about to befall Kevin. Karen struggles just to keep it together as fidget spinners crumble the very foundations of her life.
Full of uncomfortable situations and sordid details, Fidget Spinners Destroyed My Family is a suspenseful dark comedy of paranoia, obsession, and this year’s hottest new toy.
Getting kicked out of church is just the beginning. Within a year their daughter is in foster care, their son is in jail, and the cat is missing. An even more terrible fate is about to befall Kevin. Karen struggles just to keep it together as fidget spinners crumble the very foundations of her life.
Full of uncomfortable situations and sordid details, Fidget Spinners Destroyed My Family is a suspenseful dark comedy of paranoia, obsession, and this year’s hottest new toy.
My Thoughts
I’m not sure what that cover is about but that cannibalistic kiddo is not in the book. Sorry, folks. It’s eye catching though, right?
What this book is really about is a family that is on the brink of imploding and we get to witness it in all its glorious ugliness. Yay! From the outside, Karen and Kevin and their two children appear to have a perfectly beautiful upper class life but if you get to snooping and look a little closer you’ll see things aren’t so sickeningly picture perfect. Ah, my favorite kind of story. I love books like this. If you do to, you’ll want to check this one out.
It’s darkly comical, as the best of these types of stories tend to be. Kevin, who is a big kid himself, decides to give the kids (and himself, of course) fidget spinners one Christmas and Karen sees it as the beginning of the end. Of everything. She’s a bit of a dramatic soul. She blames all of her woes on the fidget thingies and refuses to face her true reality. This book is told from Karen’s mostly sloshed POV and she’s a truly terrible person on the inside. Horribly, hysterically, terrible. Her thoughts are often ridiculously bitchy, snooty and mean as well as slightly crazed and I have to admit I loved it there in her head. Granted, no one would probably want to spend too much time there because it would wear on you but this book is only 96 pages. That’s the perfect length of time to spend with someone like Karen, if you ask me.
“I screamed. I tried to help. I tried to save him. Believe me when I tell you, I really tried.”
Lol, I don’t believe a thing this woman tries to tell me but it’s fun listening to her. Please be warned an unforgivable thing happens to an animal. I didn’t like that part at all but that’s the risk you take with books like these.
If you’re in the mood for something blackly humorous grab yourself a glass of Karen’s favorite wine (that would be any and all of them) and settle in for a dark little gem with this novella.
I received an ARC of this story from the author. Thanks, it was a lot of fun!
| My GR friend Janie recommends this other book by George Billions: |
A Bit About the Writer
George Billions is a writer whose work litters the Internet under various pseudonyms. He's written everything from fake product reviews to unqualified fitness advice, steamy romance novels to straight-up keyword spam. Once he had a gig banging out thousands of short biographies of adult entertainers. These days he's trying to put out the kind of stuff he enjoys reading and writing.
Ha! That title is hilarious. Fidget spinners were all the rage with fourth graders last year and we (the adults) all hated them. I love this story already. :D
ReplyDeleteI've never even seen one in real life and am glad of that, I think!
DeleteWow, that does sound darkly humorous. Thankfully my family survived having fidget spinners. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sure your family is much more balanced than this one!
DeleteI came across this book somewhere recently. Thanks for your review. Now I know I want to read it.
ReplyDeleteWow, this looks creepy and fun. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat. The fudge. That blurb lmao. But from reading your review, it actually sounds like the story does make sense, it's just the POV blaming everything on fidget spinners, and it sounds entertaining!
ReplyDeletePity about the cannibal kid cover! My only worry is the animal cruelty bit as I try to avoid that. Intrigued though!
ReplyDeleteI was totally freaked out by the first line int he summary because my husband and I are Kevin and Karen lol
ReplyDeleteFor What It's Worth
That kid gives me the creeps every time I see him!
ReplyDelete