Bark At The Ghouls

  Recent Mini Reviews Let's face it, most of my reviews lately are what most people consider "mini" anyhow. Most of the time I'd rather be reading than writing an essay deconstructing every part of a book, so it is what it is. Here are the quick takes and the thoughtless thoughts about the recent(ish) books I've read. This week it's a mix-up of genres. Nothing rated higher than a three but sometimes that happens. When She's Shy  by  Ruby Dixon ⭐⭐⭐ I haven't read anything in the Risdaverse (unless those blue alien books are Risdaverse books? If so, I'm a dummy because I have read a few of them) but this stands all on its own pretty well and now I want to read more so I guess it did its job. I didn't have any pesky questions besides is "Risadaverse" set on Not Hoth? It's short (less than 50 pgs, I think) and the romance is super rushed because, well, it's less than 50 pages but it's a sweet and quick read. No real character...

It's been a while since I've done one of these or had the energy to post something on my blog other than a random review but I'm hoping to change that once and for all. I was spending too much time in other areas that were bringing me a bit of stress and I need a long breather. So anyhow, here's a post that everyone loves to see (lol and yikes).  However, I've always reviewed what I consider the good, the meh and the not-so-great and I'm not going to change because people on social media whine about it every hour. I don't think it's "negative" to dislike or quit a book and talk about the reason(s). We can't all love the same things and someone* might read my words and say "Hey, I love that thing you hate. Thanks for the recommendation!" So yeah, hello, I think I'm back. Have you missed me? haha Ooops, nope. That's not what this post is about because I am a jerk. It's your last chance to turn back. ...

  Brand New Cherry Flavor by Todd Grimson Did you see this Netflix show? It's dark and gross and unique and all things strange. Lucky me had a copy of the book that I bought ages ago and apparently it was not reprinted alongside the series. Because it was in such hot demand I sold my ancient copy on Ebay for way too much money. I have zero regrets about it after attempting to listen to the copy I purchased with an Audible credit. Yikes was it ever a disappointment. Now I clearly understand why they did not reprint it! These are the thoughts I shared with Goodreads. People like yelling at me over there so that's the reason I write reviews the way I do now, lol. But little do they know, they've motivated me to write more DNF "reviews" because of their shittiness.  I quit this at 20%. That was already too much of my life. I'm not going to tiptoe around this shit anymore. I thought it was a big ol' mess and I'm struggling to find something p...

Well, 2020 started off with a DNF. This does not bode well.Or perhaps it does. Maybe this will be the year I stop struggling and listen to my instincts. Anyhow, I had another soon after so here they are. Ooops, nope. That's not what this post is about because I am a jerk. The Night Circus  by  Erin Morgenstern I gave this audiobook five hours of my life. I can't face another eight. I just can't do it. I mean, five hours?! That's a lot of time! I still feel as if I know nothing about any of these characters and I'm so very bored. Nope, I'm out. I sucketh at the reading. I know. I realize people adore this book but I didn't and it makes me sad that I didn't but that is why there are so many books. There is something for everyone. This something is for someone other than me. Full Throttle: Stories  by  Joe Hill A collection like this is typically like a box of gifted chocolates. I'm the type of jerk who ...

I have had a decent run of books lately and there have only been two that didn't quite work out for me. I don't like to DNF but I also don't like the idea of struggling through a book that doesn't get along with me and there are simply too many books in my pile(s) right now. Lustmord: Anatomy of a Serial Butcher - Book One  by  Kirk Alex The face you make when you put your damn glasses on, read the fine print and realize the book you've just been accepted for on Netgalley is nearly 800 pages long. I don't know if I can do this one, folks. I'll give it another try in a few weeks . . . Quite a few weeks later: Nope, this book is too long, too meandering and too cruel. I will never finish it. Sorry, Netgalley. I suck and I need better glasses. Here There Are Monsters  by  Amelinda Bérubé It pains me to do this because I purchased this paperback brand new and I don't splurge that often but I am going to DNF this one after re...

I have had a good run of books lately but there have been a few that didn't quite work out for me. I don't like to DNF but I also don't like the idea of struggling through a book that doesn't get along with me. Here is a little collection of books I had to give up on/skim-finish because I am a quitter and I have entirely too many books in my tbr pile. Family Business  by  Brett Williams I had to DNF this audiobook at 20% because of the animal abuse. I suppose I need to be better about researching books before I agree to review them. I prefer going in blind and reading reviews after I've read the book so as not to get my opinion tainted, or accidentally snatching a phrase. It usually works out for me but sometimes avoiding blurbs and reviews bites me in the butt. This is one of those times. I can stomach almost anything but too much animal abuse is something that haunts me and this book is filled to the brim with it and it is explicit. TW: Rape, Animal C...

I don't like to DNF but I also don't like the idea of struggling through a book that doesn't get along with me. Here is a little collection of books I had to give up on because I am a quitter and I have entirely too many books in my tbr pile. Our Frail Disordered Lives by Mary M. Schmidt I requested this title from Netgalley thinking it was a horror novel because it was in the horror category. I must be more careful about hitting that request button without doing a little research first. This book is a comedy about a demon gone rogue because his boss Satan is an unappreciative pain in the bum. Satan sends all of his bounty hunters out to drag the demon’s sorry butt back to Hell. But this is not a horror novel. At least not the first 25%. It is written in the sarcastic spirit of Christopher Moore and Clive Barker’s Mister B. Gone which is a book that did not get along with me and I normally adore Barker so you can see how this going to go, can’t you? Not ...

I don't like to DNF but I also don't like the idea of struggling through a book that doesn't get along with me. Here is a little collection of books I had to give up on because I am a quitter and I have entirely too many books in my tbr pile. Unbury Carol by Josh Malerman I gave it my best try and read a third before throwing in the towel. This book was just so incredibly not for me. I like weird and dark little stories but this tale about a woman afflicted by a condition where she falls into a death-like state and the dastardly bastard of a man she trusted, who naturally is doing her all kinds of wrong, isn't working for me in any way. The characters are not engaging me and the plot is not interesting to me so I'm calling it quits and starting something else. Tasty Treats for Demanding Dogs by Gregg R. Gillespie I made it to the 25% mark, skimming all the way. I never read all the way through cookbooks but already I've noticed ...

The one where the blurb will be far longer than the review. Caraval by Stephanie Garber, Na rrated by ‎ Rebecca Soler Audiobook   Released January 2017, Unabridged  Amazon  ♦  Goodreads Welcome, welcome to Caraval! Stephanie Garber's sweeping tale of two sisters who escape their ruthless father when they enter the dangerous intrigue of a legendary game. Scarlett has never left the tiny island where she and her beloved sister, Tella, live with their powerful, and cruel, father. Now Scarlett's father has arranged a marriage for her, and Scarlett thinks her dreams of seeing Caraval, the far-away, once-a-year performance where the audience participates in the show, are over. But this year, Scarlett's long-dreamt of invitation finally arrives. With the help of a mysterious sailor, Tella whisks Scarlett away to the show. Only, as soon as they arrive, Tella is kidnapped by Caraval's mastermind organizer, Legend. It turns out that this season's Caraval revolv...

I just can't make myself do it! The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson, Narrated by Scott Brick  Audiobook   Horror Fiction Released November 2006, 3+ Hours Unabridged Amazon  ♦  Goodreads When a brute of a man tramples an innocent girl, apparently out of spite, two bystanders catch the fellow and force him to pay reparations to the girl's family. The brute's name is Edward Hyde. A respected lawyer, Utterson, hears this story and begins to unravel the seemingly manic behavior of his best friend, Dr. Henry Jekyll, and his connection with Hyde. Several months earlier, Utterson had drawn up an inexplicable will for the doctor naming Hyde as his heir in the event that he disappears. DNF My Thoughts: I tried to listen to this audiobook this morning but it was just too wordy for me. I mean, I know it's a book, they're made up entirely of words but these words were not at all interesting to me. They were boring, dry, t...

DNF Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare, Narrated by Jennifer Ehle Young Adult Fantasy Audiobook   Unabridged Length: Too Many Hours Amazon ♦ Goodreads Magic is dangerous—but love is more dangerous still. When sixteen-year-old Tessa Gray crosses the ocean to find her brother, her destination is England, the time is the reign of Queen Victoria, and something terrifying is waiting for her in London's Downworld, where vampires, warlocks and other supernatural folk stalk the gaslit streets. Only the Shadowhunters, warriors dedicated to ridding the world of demons, keep order amidst the chaos.  Kidnapped by the mysterious Dark Sisters, members of a secret organization called The Pandemonium Club, Tessa soon learns that she herself is a Downworlder with a rare ability: the power to transform, at will, into another person. What's more, the Magister, the shadowy figure who runs the Club, will stop at nothing to claim Tessa's power for his own.  Friendless and hu...

Some books just aren't for everyone. This is one that wasn't meant for me. The Chemist by Stephenie Meyer Narrated by Ellen Archer Romantic Thriller Audiobook Released November 2016 Amazon ♦ Goodreads In this gripping page-turner, an ex-agent on the run from her former employers must take one more case to clear her name and save her life.  She used to work for the U.S. government, but very few people ever knew that. An expert in her field, she was one of the darkest secrets of an agency so clandestine it doesn't even have a name. And when they decided she was a liability, they came for her without warning.  Now she rarely stays in the same place or uses the same name for long. They've killed the only other person she trusted, but something she knows still poses a threat. They want her dead, and soon.  When her former handler offers her a way out, she realizes it's her only chance to erase the giant target on her back. But it means taking one las...

Another cover leads me astray. The Unhandsome Prince by John Moore Fantasy Released: April 2005 Amazon  ♦  Goodreads And they lived happily never after... Caroline's plan to live happily ever after has hit a snag. She's spent months mapping the swamp, building tadpole nets, and kissing every wriggling frog she could get her hands on, and one has finally turned into a prince. Unfortunately, Prince Hal is not, as promised in the fairy tales, particularly handsome. In fact, he's kind of dorky-looking. Hal himself isn't very eager to marry a girl so obsessed with appearances, but he finds that a lot of people have a stake in his impending nuptials -- including a sorceress in training, an irritating dwarf, and Hal's own royal family, who seem to have misplaced large portions of the treasury. But the biggest reason for him to marry Caroline, true love be darned, is that if he doesn't, it's back to the lily pads for him -- permanently... DNF...

Snow  by  Ronald Malfi Released: March 2010 Horror Fiction Amazon  ♦  Goodreads Todd Curry wants nothing more than to spend Christmas with his son. But when a brutal snowstorm cancels his flight from Chicago to Des Moines, Todd and a few other stranded passengers decide to rent a Jeep and make the trip on their own. During the drive, they pick up a man wandering through the snow, who claims to be searching for his lost daughter. He is disoriented and his story seems peculiar. Strangest of all are the mysterious slashes cut into the back of the man’s coat, straight down to the flesh… When they arrive at the nearest town, it appears deserted. Windows dark, car abandoned, fired burning unattended. But Todd and the rest of the travelers soon learn the town is far from deserted, and that they are being watched… DNF Snow is about a guy and a gal who first meet at an airport. They end up stranded when their flights are cancelled due to a sn...