The Oh-So-Sad DNF Collection: Take 5
Well, 2020 started off with a DNF. This does not bode well.Or perhaps it does. Maybe this will be the year I stop struggling and listen to my instincts. Anyhow, I had another soon after so here they are.
I gave this audiobook five hours of my life. I can't face another eight. I just can't do it. I mean, five hours?! That's a lot of time! I still feel as if I know nothing about any of these characters and I'm so very bored. Nope, I'm out. I sucketh at the reading. I know. I realize people adore this book but I didn't and it makes me sad that I didn't but that is why there are so many books. There is something for everyone. This something is for someone other than me.
A collection like this is typically like a box of gifted chocolates. I'm the type of jerk who wants a box containing only my favorites. Give me all the dark chocolate cherries or keep those chocolates for yourself because I don't want to waste the calories. Much like my reading life in 2020. I'm warning you now that I'm going to be a brutal DNFer because life is too short and I want to spend my free time doing things I love. I didn't love the first 35% of this book so I quit it. I hear In the Tall Grass is the best of the lot here and I've already seen the film so I'm good. Here are my lame thoughts about the stories I finished.
The introduction was great. It truly was. Joe Hill talks a bit about growing up with his famous parents and his decision to take the harder road to publishing. It made my nosy heart super happy to read this stuff.
Throttle
This is a tale of a biker gang. It's all about drugs, murder and money and it's not my thing in any way, shape or form. The characters find themselves in quite the bloody predicament on the highway but I didn't give a cats bum about any of it. They pretty much deserved what they got but I lack sympathy for jerks. Anyhow, I didn't find it scary or interesting. You might though but it wasn't my thing.
Dark Carousel
A group of teens visit a sinister carnival and horrible things befall them. I should've loved this one but I didn't. It was a decent premise but the storytelling wasn't mind blowing for me and I was a little bored.
Wolverton Station
A loathsome businessman visits London and spends so much time naval gazing it barely registers that he's on a train filled with wolves dressed in suits - until it's too late. I might've loved this one if the protagonist wasn't so BORING. Listening to him drone on and on in his thoughts ruined what could've been an interesting foray into crazy-town.
By The Silver Water Of Lake Champlain
This story was also dull. It was also filled with kids who fought constantly and offended my ears. I'm not entirely sure what it was about because I started to zone out.
Sorry, I truly am the shittiest of shitty readers.
Faun
This is the one that did me in. It's about a trophy hunter. It's told from the entitled prick's POV - or at least the beginning of it is his POV. I don't know about the rest because I had to nope the hell out of it. I don't want to spend my free time in a cruel and rich asshole's head today. I'm sure terrible things befell that jerk but I didn't want to spend one more moment in his head.
It's here that I threw in the towel. I wanted to love this book but as you can see it mostly irritated me. It might be my mood or it might simply be a book that was not meant for me. Will I read Joe Hill again? Of course I will! I've adored many of his books but this one didn't suit me at all. If you read it, I hope you love it. No one should read a book they do not love. Thus it is here that I DNF and quit this pathetic excuse for a "review".
Ooops, nope. That's not what this post is about because I am a jerk.
I gave this audiobook five hours of my life. I can't face another eight. I just can't do it. I mean, five hours?! That's a lot of time! I still feel as if I know nothing about any of these characters and I'm so very bored. Nope, I'm out. I sucketh at the reading. I know. I realize people adore this book but I didn't and it makes me sad that I didn't but that is why there are so many books. There is something for everyone. This something is for someone other than me.
A collection like this is typically like a box of gifted chocolates. I'm the type of jerk who wants a box containing only my favorites. Give me all the dark chocolate cherries or keep those chocolates for yourself because I don't want to waste the calories. Much like my reading life in 2020. I'm warning you now that I'm going to be a brutal DNFer because life is too short and I want to spend my free time doing things I love. I didn't love the first 35% of this book so I quit it. I hear In the Tall Grass is the best of the lot here and I've already seen the film so I'm good. Here are my lame thoughts about the stories I finished.
The introduction was great. It truly was. Joe Hill talks a bit about growing up with his famous parents and his decision to take the harder road to publishing. It made my nosy heart super happy to read this stuff.
Throttle
This is a tale of a biker gang. It's all about drugs, murder and money and it's not my thing in any way, shape or form. The characters find themselves in quite the bloody predicament on the highway but I didn't give a cats bum about any of it. They pretty much deserved what they got but I lack sympathy for jerks. Anyhow, I didn't find it scary or interesting. You might though but it wasn't my thing.
Dark Carousel
A group of teens visit a sinister carnival and horrible things befall them. I should've loved this one but I didn't. It was a decent premise but the storytelling wasn't mind blowing for me and I was a little bored.
Wolverton Station
A loathsome businessman visits London and spends so much time naval gazing it barely registers that he's on a train filled with wolves dressed in suits - until it's too late. I might've loved this one if the protagonist wasn't so BORING. Listening to him drone on and on in his thoughts ruined what could've been an interesting foray into crazy-town.
By The Silver Water Of Lake Champlain
This story was also dull. It was also filled with kids who fought constantly and offended my ears. I'm not entirely sure what it was about because I started to zone out.
Sorry, I truly am the shittiest of shitty readers.
Faun
This is the one that did me in. It's about a trophy hunter. It's told from the entitled prick's POV - or at least the beginning of it is his POV. I don't know about the rest because I had to nope the hell out of it. I don't want to spend my free time in a cruel and rich asshole's head today. I'm sure terrible things befell that jerk but I didn't want to spend one more moment in his head.
It's here that I threw in the towel. I wanted to love this book but as you can see it mostly irritated me. It might be my mood or it might simply be a book that was not meant for me. Will I read Joe Hill again? Of course I will! I've adored many of his books but this one didn't suit me at all. If you read it, I hope you love it. No one should read a book they do not love. Thus it is here that I DNF and quit this pathetic excuse for a "review".
May all your books be five star reads!
So I've never read The Night Circus but you know I'm all too aware of the feeling of not liking a book so many others love. I own a copy and have it on my shelf at home. Even after purging some books last night, I still managed to keep it. I have read the intro of the Joe Hill book but that's all. I did like that part. So I hope I'm never so self centered that I don't notice I'm on a train (or anywhere for that matter) with a bunch of wolves in suits. Of course, I'd probably invite them over for some Kibble. Life's too short - move on!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh, Barb! I needed it this morning :)
DeleteI have failed my attempts at The Night Circus, too. I dnf'ed Strange Weather so I didn't even attempt Full Throttle once the reviews started coming out.
ReplyDeleteGood move. I can't believe how disappointed it made me.
DeleteI haven't read these but I don't think they're my kind of books.
ReplyDeleteThey weren't mine either sadly :( I hope you're having an excellent reading week!
DeleteGood for you! I say if a book's not working for you, stop reading. :)
ReplyDeleteI need to remember this the next time I'm forcing the pages! I always feel like I'm going to miss out.
DeleteYay for DNFing, I approve😁 Though sorry to hear about Full Throttle. I may try it at some point. Or not!
ReplyDeleteIt was an odd one for me but many people love it. I hope you do too!
DeleteI have The Night Circus too and now I'm curious to read it and see how I feel. I'm so bad about always making myself finish a book no matter what. They haunt me if I don't.
ReplyDeleteyeah, I feel that. I'm typically the same way but lately I'm trying to save my energy for the things I truly love.
Deletei have heard such great things about joe hill but haven't read any of the books yet. i do have one on my kindle, but not this one. i hate when i have to give up on a book, but sometimes a book just doesn't fit
ReplyDeletesherry @ fundinmental
Yeah, this one just wasn't meant for me. He's written some really great stuff though. Maybe I'll love his next one.
DeleteGet the DNF's out of the way early in the year. It's all 4-5 stars from here! Well, one can hope lol
ReplyDeleteKaren @ For What It's worth
Man, I hope you're right!
DeleteI think I've seen some other not- so-impressed reviews of The Night Circus too. I'll probably skip it. Dark carousel sounds like a neat idea- a sinister carnival??- bummer that that one was a dNF as well. You just never know!
ReplyDeleteIt was a bummer. I was thinking I'd love both of them but it happens.
DeleteI find Joe Hill a bit hit and miss-I loved Heart Shaped Box and the up to date bits in Horns-the flashbacks bored me though, and short story anthologies in general are more miss than hit!
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